3 Ways to Feel Your Feelings- and Why It Matters

You’ve probably heard a therapist say it before: “Feel your feelings.” But what does that really mean? It’s one of those phrases that sounds simple, even obvious—yet it’s surprisingly hard to do, especially in a world that rewards productivity, distraction, and constant calm

The truth is, therapy isn’t just about feeling better. It’s about getting better at feeling. And that’s a lifelong skill worth developing.

Here are three practical ways to feel your feelings—and why doing so is one of the healthiest things you can do.

1. Name the Feeling

This might seem like a small step, but it’s a powerful one. Naming your emotion gives it shape and form. Instead of swimming in a vague cloud of discomfort, you create clarity: I’m sad. I’m frustrated. I’m disappointed. That simple act of labeling starts to bring the feeling into focus.

Most of us didn’t grow up with a full emotional vocabulary. That’s where tools like a feelings wheel come in handy. Keep one nearby—in your journal, on your phone, or even on the fridge. Use it to explore the nuance behind your emotions. Are you angry, or are you feeling disrespected? Are you anxious, or actually just excited and uncertain?

Naming helps you process your feelings instead of avoiding or reacting to them in unhelpful ways.

2. Check In With Your Body

Feelings don’t just live in the mind—they show up in the body. Tight shoulders, a pit in your stomach, tears welling up, racing thoughts—these are all ways your body communicates emotion.

Try building a habit of pausing and asking, “What am I feeling right now—and where do I feel it?” You might place a hand on your chest, or take three deep breaths and scan your body for tension or sensation. Getting curious about your body’s cues helps you connect to feelings that may not have reached your conscious mind yet.

This kind of gentle attention is a form of self-attunement—it says to your system: I’m here, and I’m listening.

3. Don’t Judge—Just Notice

One of the biggest obstacles to feeling our feelings is the belief that certain emotions are “bad.” But emotions aren’t good or bad—they’re just information. If we meet them with shame, resistance, or judgment, we shut down the very process that helps us heal and grow.

Instead, practice being with your emotions like you would sit with a friend who’s having a hard day. You don’t need to fix them. You just need to stay present and listen. Mindfulness techniques, journaling, and simply giving yourself permission to feel without fixing can all support this.

Why It Matters

In today’s fast-paced world, we’re often taught to chase “calm” or emotional neutrality—as if emotional health means being unbothered all the time. But that’s not what real life experienced within our human selves is like. Real life is full of highs and lows, and emotionally healthy people ride the waves rather than avoid them.

As researcher Brené Brown has said, when we don’t acknowledge or process our hurt, we tend to offload it onto others—through blame, defensiveness, numbing, or even shutting down. Unfelt emotions don’t just go away. They get stored, and often resurface in ways we don’t expect—through anxiety, burnout, or disconnection.

On the other hand, when we allow ourselves to feel, we make room for joy, connection, and vitality. As uncomfortable as sadness or anger might be, they’re part of the same emotional spectrum that gives us awe, laughter, and love.

Feeling your feelings doesn’t make you weak—it makes you human. And the better you get at it, the more fully and authentically you can live.